Do you ever find yourself caught up in an ongoing situation where you’ve told yourself over and over again you will not make the same mistake, you will not go back or even speak to that person? Whether it may be a complicated friendship, relationship or simply a working relationship. You always seem to find yourself back in the same spot you wanted out from. Yup, well that’s how I’m feeling now. Matter of fact, I find myself feeling like this more than I actually feel myself. Shaming….. I know right!
Assumingly you would have to identify the problem first of all….. Correct? Well in this case I disagree, I’d rather ask myself what it is I can and will tolerate from that person or situation by simply listing all the things that make me feel unhappy or changes my mood from up to down. I wish I could say this works for me because in all reality I’m beginning to think nothing will work…. I still happen to find myself back in the same place I wanted out from.
So what is it that keeps pulling me back?
If I knew the answer, I’m pretty sure I wouldn’t be in the same situation and would have found a way out by now. I’ve come up with all type of reasons (EXCUSES) why I keep going back, I must be crazy, stupid, have FOOL written across my forehead, BUT NO! Why am I making up excuses, on top of that why am I discrediting myself and putting such a negative outlook on myself? The reason why I keep going back is because I believe….. WAIT NO! I know my heart is bigger than others and I’m very understanding, I’m also a high believer in hope and change. So what keeps me coming back again and again? Hope, hoping for a change, hoping it wouldn’t be the same as before. What if I try this…. say this, blah blah blah…. All bull shit!
WHAT’S THE CONCLUSION?
I’m giving myself 30 days to NOT do the things I would usually do, to NOT say the things I would normally say, to NOT be in the same space and to approach the situation completely opposite to how I would normally.
Starting from now…. WISH ME LUCK!